My Story

 

Restoration Strategist

International Speaker, Strategist and Life Coach

I was Queen Already, But Didn’t Know it.

Barbara Vernoski’s Story of Restoration


“What has happened to me has really served to advance the Gospel” Phil 1:12



As a little kid, I thought I had super powers, the powers to escape death and kill. At the age of 3, I had a near death drowning accident. I also believed for a long time that the snowball that I threw killed someone. Not knowing in my youthful mind that Mr. Zimmermann coincidentally suffered a heart attack during our snowball fight.


From the time I was very young I have always felt the presence of God. As a naive, smart, pretty little girl with an attitude I entered the real world and found out quickly I actually controlled nothing and had very little power. My childhood was plagued with much uncertainty. We moved often.  I was the oldest of four childern in our family. I failed First Grade, because I could not read.  I was relentlessly bullied for a deforming overbite.   Before my 10th birthday, my babysitter sexual abused me. Also, in the same year, my family lost all of our worldly possessions in a fire.


I try to take back control of my life. By attempting suicide 6 times, Alcohol became my friend. My looks were drastically change at the age of 18 when I had corrective jaw surgery. At that time I began to receive truly WANTED attention from men, that lead me into unhealthy and abusive relationships. To escape, I even moved 3 thousand miles away from home where I had the Beach, Booze and the Boys.  I worked very hard for my new independant life by, working 3 jobs at a time. Most of that money went to College where I began to obtain a degree in Aeronautical Engineering and began to learn how to fly airplanes. I thought all of these things would bring me freedom, but none of these outside things made me happy or brought me peace.


When I was 21 years old I remembered back to that experience when I was 8. I decide to do things God’s way through His son Jesus. My relationship with God through Jesus, had nothing to do with religion, but a true relationship of just BEING not DOING.


Shortly after this decision I met a handsome Air Force Fighter Pilot. My marriage started with an unplanned pregnancy (obviously I was not doing everything God’s way), 10 subsequent pregnancies and the birth of 7 kids. One of those miscarriages saved my life when my flight instructor was killed that day and I was suppose to be with him.  While alone with the kids I had a near escape from a rapist. I walked away from a car accident that a semi truck smashed and totaled.  As a wife of a Persian Gulf F-16 Vet and then commerical Airline Pilot, I was plagued with fear because my husband flew the same tail numbers that crashed into the Twin Towers on 9/11.  Fornutely, he was not in those planes on that day.  My fifth child Rachel was born with Spina Bifida: paralyzed from the chest down with brain damage. Six months later in an unrelated matter I was diagnosis with Cancer.  My drug of choice was Religion, and I become more “homier then thou,’ I wore the jean-jumpers and adorned my hair with a bow. Even though I knew Jesus had done it all for me..I felt I had to be a certain kind of Christian, that was self imposed by myself...Nothing God ever needed me to do. 


I thought I had seen it all until the 20-year mark of my marriage. A secret double life and world of infidelity would collide with me perfect made-up world. My husband’s serial adultery left me with feelings of depression, humiliations and anger.  My self-esteem reached an all-time low, whereas, self-pity reached an all-time high.

My life  was at a crossroads, would I settle for this “victim mentality for the rest of my life? Could I continue to perform for everyone including for God?  This time I made a decision to choose to believe that things God tells me, about me.  He says in the Bible:


“......Fix your thought on what is true and honorable and right and pure and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”


He also says, “ I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”


With sheer will and determination, I began with God’s help, to pull myself out of the prison of my thoughts that were taking me captive.  My relationship with Jesus was not performance based anymore with all of my self-righteous imposed rules I had put on myself.   God didn’t want or need for me to perform. Jesus had already performed, through His death on the cross. 


My life still has many twists and turns.


When infidelity is involved, there is fall-out and trust is still being built.  Infidelity affects your whole family and you can still  see the damage and pain. 


My daughter Rachel is now 16 years old and is still confined to a wheelchair. She just recently bearly survived  Spine Surgery. She spent 2 weeks in the hospital 10 days in ICU, where she died right in front of me and was revived. Dispite the surgery she still depends totally on me for her care: from going to the bathroom to being her legs.   


Twenty-six years later I am still married to that same handsome pilot. There are things that still trigger emotions and I am paralyzed with fear, but now I choose to re-frame those thoughts and take them captive. Do I always do this perfectly? No! But with God all things are possible. My confidence has soared, because of who I am in Jesus and I have  allowed the Holy Spirit to manifest itself in my life. I don’t have to DO anymore I can just BE.  I now use all of this to help others.  My life still could be a, “Made for TV,” movie, but this time I CHOOSE  the happy ending.







My story has become an inspiration to thousands and thousands of people as a

testimony of Restoration.  All of the glory goes to my best friend, Jesus.



Guess what I do have super powers because of Jesus that lives within me. He can also live in you.


Click If you would like to know more about my faith


Click if you would like to know what others say


Click here if you would like me to speak for your group.

 

25 Anniversary Gulf Port MS

Mrs New Jersey AQ 2008

My inspiring daughter Rachel was born paralyzed and with brain abnormalities  Yet she chooses to give her life meaning and joy.

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